I’m sorry. Those are probably the most difficult words for anyone to utter, if they’re sincere. These words admit wrong-doing, and more importantly, a former lack of empathy.
Every day most of us often think and act without considering the people around us. We honk at the car stalling traffic at the light without considering how rough the driver’s day may have been. We swear at our siblings without considering that someone else may have used a word with them that left a scar.
We ask and demand things of each other without considering the receiver of said questions or demands. What is, or has, that person gone through? How is that person perceiving the world, and me? Who am I to project my thoughts and feelings without considering theirs?
To empathize isn’t to pity or show compassion. To empathize is to understand. To empathize is to share someone’s thoughts and emotions, not just acknowledge them.
Our interactions and relationships could be so much more effective, progressive, and peaceful, if we just stopped to think that we are not the only ones with feelings.
Instead of projecting, I challenge myself, and you, to receive, to soak in, someone else’s emotions and experiences, before letting your feelings emerge. Do this with everyone, not just those close to you. Do it with the beggar on the street corner who is soliciting you for money again. Do it with your boss who is yelling at you for not completing something on time. Do it with your loved one, whom you’ve chastised again – stop and listen, not only hear, where that person is coming from first. What happened to her that she feels so vulnerable? Then, and only then, can you truly empathize, and understand that your needs do not supersede. Then you won’t be confused. Then can you express yourself in a manner that is communicative, rather than demanding. Then can you gain trust in each other. Then you can dance.
I’m sorry.
